i either care too much, or not at all.
im either afraid to get hurt, or i want to hurt myself.
if im not wanting to be alone then im lonely.
im either annoying and goofing off or im upset.
i have no middle ground anymore. its just one or the other.
i am fucked up, a bitch, annoying, indecisive, depressed, anxious, nervous, paranoid, scared, a terrible human being, sick, twisted, dying, suicidal, emotional, stupid, useless, worthless, lazy, judgemental, selfish, inconsiderate, easily angered, easily upset, lonely, pathetic, a loser, anti-social, undeserving, a waste, a disgrace, a failure, a monster, a freak, a demon, insecure, afraid, needy, forgetful, hypocritical, difficult, oblivious, not helpful, childish, immature, psycho, unstable, unreasonable, ugly, clingy, unsure of mysel, crying. but most of all, im terrible.
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like what
im screaming, crying.
scratching the skin till it bleeds.
clawing out my eyes till im blind.
beckoning for you to come save me.
please rescue me.
but you dont care.
not even a glance.
not a single twitch from your whole body.
you just walk away.
leaving while my thoughts bury me alive.
they told me to go away..
so i will..
but they never said for how long..
so i’ll just leave forever..
If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex
But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage
But homosexuality is bad
I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with
i don’t want to be all “oh i’m so ugly and so fat and everyone hates me and i’m so untalented” because it’s like i’m fishing for compliments or something and i don’t want to do that?? but that’s just how i feel sometimes and like it’s dumb that you can’t have opinions on yourself without other people telling you to shut up like sorry this is how i feel
a list of why you love me.
a list of things i do wrong.
a list of why you are my friend.
a list of why you had a crush on me.
a list of what you think makes me attractive.
i just need a list.
a list that i can look bad on when im upset.
in hopes that it’ll make me smile.
because it will.
just give me a list.