when its late, this is when it starts. this is when the doubt floods my mind. when i have to know. when i cant tell anymore. i am full of doubt. suspicion. fear. anxiety. no matter how many times, you say youre telling me the truth.. part of me cant believe you. and at night that part takes over. it down rains chaos, doubt, and paranoia. spreading like a wildfire. and for what...
they may sound stupid to you, but these are real issues i have. fears, worries, nightmares. things that keep me awake at night. please dont treat them like nothing..
if i said i was alright, i would be lying.
i either care too much, or not at all. im either afraid to get hurt, or i want to hurt myself. if im not wanting to be alone then im lonely. im either annoying and goofing off or im upset. i have no middle ground anymore. its just one or the other.
i am fucked up, a bitch, annoying, indecisive, depressed, anxious, nervous, paranoid, scared, a terrible human being, sick, twisted, dying, suicidal, emotional, stupid, useless, worthless, lazy, judgemental, selfish, inconsiderate, easily angered, easily upset, lonely, pathetic, a loser, anti-social, undeserving, a waste, a disgrace, a failure, a monster, a freak, a demon, insecure, afraid, needy,...
scvlptures: depression is when you don’t really care about anything anxiety is when you care too much about everything and having both is just like what
im screaming, crying. scratching the skin till it bleeds. clawing out my eyes till im blind. beckoning for you to come save me. please rescue me. help me. but you dont care. not even a glance. not a single twitch from your whole body. you just walk away. leaving while my thoughts bury me alive.
they told me to go away.. so i will.. but they never said for how long.. so i’ll just leave forever..
salmiakkivodka: If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage But homosexuality is bad I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with
urbancatfitters: i don’t want to be all “oh i’m so ugly and so fat and everyone hates me and i’m so untalented” because it’s like i’m fishing for compliments or something and i don’t want to do that?? but that’s just how i feel sometimes and like it’s dumb that you can’t have opinions on yourself without other people telling you to shut up like sorry this is how i feel
sometimes i just need a list.
a list of why you love me. a list of things i do wrong. a list of why you are my friend. a list of why you had a crush on me. a list of what you think makes me attractive. i just need a list. a list that i can look bad on when im upset. in hopes that it’ll make me smile. because it will. just give me a list.
i think my biggest fear is to be hated by someone i love..
A smile can hide a lot..
why cant i be good enough for you.. why cant i make you happier.. why am i always so worried.. why cant i feel like im worth anything.. why do i do this to you.. why do you do this to me.. why cant i be stronger.. why am i always so paranoid.. why cant i feel anything anymore.. why would i say that.. why does it feel like you can do so much better.. why do you love me.. why cant i feel like i...